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I wrote this for my cousins wife on facebook and I thought, hey I should probably document it while it's fresh in my mind! I have a possible diagnosis of IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension) and well, we're going to roll with it.

I was sick on Dec 17 (just a classic illness), Dec 23 the headache started fairly mild. Dec 27 Iw ent to the hospital as it wasnt' getting any better so I figueed I had a sinus infection, that's what they said and they put me on a nasal spray an amoxicillin
then on the 29th the double vision started, fairly mild about 20 or so feet range I could sing single and anything farther then that doubel.
on the 30th, the headache came back and I couldn't get rid of it. And the double vision was there and about 3 feet range.
They said it was a sinus migraine (hot doctor, I love him) and I had a CT scan. All was normal there.
Prescribed 2 more nose sprays and told me to come back if the vision got any worse.I had a lovely New Years Day, the headache was under control and we went to a church function thing
On the 2nd, I called the optometrist to get an appt. We figured that even though it was $90 we couldn't ignore it. Got an appt for 2:30.. workedl till 2:30 (which sucked).
the optometrists saw papillodema in my left eye mostly and she got some more scans done (they were quite neat actually). I had swelling and a bit of hemorrhaging in the back of my eyeballs so she called the ophthalmologist at the hospital. He told her to to send me up to the ER. I needed a lumbar puncture to rule some things out
So up I went to the ER (while trying to find someone to watch Jensen, thank god for Katrina), Mike met me there.
I had a lumbar puncture done. It took 2hours, and 3 doctors to do it. Mr Hot Dr gets a pass on not getting it .
my back looks like someone attacked me
they said my pressure was normal so that was good. So I needed to be admitted
stayed overnight. Had an MRI done, it was normal. So they kept coming back to the IIH because all the other symptoms fit the bill. So I'm going to see the opthaneurologist in London sometime soon and we'll do more tests to confirm it. Who knows, there were some different variables in the spinal tap (size of needle, took so long) that the next one could confirm it.

One thing that definitely helped was my brother has been having headaches for months. He was diagnosed with a cystic tumour in his brain last month and underwent brain surgery. They were very concerned about the same thing in me. It fast tracked alot of stuff plus he was badgering at me to get checked. Just glad it's not a tumour!!!

Overeaters Anonymous

Monday, July 15, 2013

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

I was thirty five years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation.

I was terribly frightened and almost couldn't believe I was doing this. I found I didn't have to be mean. I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself, and still care about my mother - the way I wanted to - not the way she wanted me to.

Who knows better how to push our buttons than family members? Who, besides family members, do we give such power?

No matter how long we or our family members have been recovering, relationships with family members can be provocative.

One telephone conversation can put us in an emotional and psychological tailspin that lasts for hours or days.

Sometimes, it gets worse when we begin recovery because we become even more aware of our reactions and our discomfort. That's uncomfortable, but good. It is by beginning this process of awareness and acceptance that we change, grow, and heal.

The process of detaching in love from family members can take years. So can the process of learning how to react in a more effective way. We cannot control what they do or try to do, but we can gain some sense of control over how we choose to react.

Stop trying to make them act or treat us any differently. Unhook from their system by refusing to try to change or influence them.

Their patterns, particularly their patterns with us, are their issues. How we react, or allow these patterns to influence us, is our issue. How we take care of ourselves is our issue.

We can love our family and still refuse to buy into their issues. We can love our family but refuse their efforts to manipulate, control, or produce guilt in us.

We can take care of ourselves with family members without feeling guilty. We can learn to be assertive with family members without being aggressive. We can set the boundaries we need and want to set with family members without being disloyal to the family.

We can learn to love our family without forfeiting love and respect for ourselves.

Today, help me start practicing self care with family members. Help me know that I do not have to allow their issues to control my life, my day, or my feelings. Help me know it's okay to have all my feelings about family members, without guilt or shame.


Page 213 Halibut with Sesame and Cilantro|

My first recipe was something simple. Flipping through the book, I looked for something with few ingredients and easy prep time. Stumbled across page 213 with a total of 6 ingredients.

I made one slight revision, used sole instead of halibut.

Serves 4
3 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
1/4 cup fresh lime juice (I felt this was too much so I did 1 whole lemon and added some water)
2 tsp sesame oil
1 clove garlic, minced
Freshly ground pepper to taste
4 - 4oz halibut fillets

Combine cilantro, lime juice, sesame oil, garlic and pepper. Add halibut and marinate for 20 min.

Helpful tip, add the rest of your lime to water for a refreshing citrus water.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees
Line baking sheet with parchment, bake uncovered for 12-16 min.

Verdict: It was alright, a funny aftertaste but moist and yummy once you got past that. I`d say a 5 or 6 out of town. Not sure if I`d make it again.

TODDLER VERDICT:`J ate about half of his.
He would only eat the fish, wouldn`t touch the chickpeas or corn.

Nutritional Value:
Per serving
145 cal
24g protein
4 g total fat
1g carb
0g fibre

Eating Outside of the Box

Like any working mom, we find ourselves eating out of a box. It's quicker, fastier and well easier to grab a box that's prepackaged or does most of the work for you. I've got extra stuff 3 or 4 nights a week on top of having an 18 month old. Plus, I work full time. My husband works nights and well we're busy people.

A few years ago, I lost 115 lbs. Then I had a baby, and went back to work 2 months post partum. Needless to say, I've gained back quite a bit. This doesn't bother me really. But my unhealthy eating does. It's easy to grab junk food for me. I also have a binge eating problem. Always have. Food can't sit in the house, I must eat it.

My very good friends Mike and Laura started something last year. They were given or bought a bbqing cookbook. Thus started the summer of bbqing. Their goal was to make it through this cookbook. Well here we are, over a year later and they are still going.
I've gotten some tips on it, picked a book and need to start.

My grandmother gave me a cookbook that she loves.
It's called Leslie Becks Healthy Kitchen
My goal: to start eating outside of the box. I'll start with one or two recipes a week, then work towards as much as I can. I do a lot of price matching and sale searching so hopefully I can get this all worked out budget wise.

My cudboards are also not stocked with most of the essentials. So I'll include costs of what I've had to buy.

What's in my oven right now?
Sesame and cilantro sole with chickpeas. I'm adding frozen corn to it as well. Baby steps people, baby steps.
As part of the doing things for myself regime I have been instructed to do by my dr, I signed myself up for swimming lessons. I didn't do them as a kid so I can't even go underwater without holding my nose. I plan to learn new skills and hey, use that gym membership I pay for every month and only get there when J has something. Why is it so easy to do his stuff but I never do anything for me?

Its the end of the world as we know it

... and I feel fine!

Alright enough great big sea.
Checking in to say I am loving and embracing life.

Hair loss... continued

I started birth control 3 weeks ago. Because I am breastfeeding I had to go on a lower dosage called Micronor. About a week in I noticed extra hair loss. I have been losing my hair since I was 10. I am used to getting stray strands of hair but this... well it was just excessive. It felt like chunks were literally (I may be exaggerating but anything more than 10 strands of hair is a chunk) falling out. My brush was filling up fast with hairs and my drain needed to be cleaned more often.

Last week I had a follow up with my doctor to go over how I was feeling with the antidepressent and birth control. I mentioned the hair loss. Turns out its a pretty rare side effect of the micronor. Seriously? Not only do I lose my hair naturally but now I am sacrificing my hair for birth control.

I will deal like I always do but until then, I think I may just cut all my hair off. There is always wigs right.
I read a wonderful blog called So Fawned and every Friday she does a great feature called Fawned Friday. I don't want to steal her idea but every once and a while I'd like to share some wonderful things I've found on the net. It's always fun to find new ideas.

1) Really enjoying Pinterest

2) These would be fun to make with my Pathfinders

3) I could spend hours reading about People You'll see in Hell

4) I really hope this blogger gives birth soon.

5) Most beautiful wedding ever

6) I love this website. I hope to never be one of these parents

Breastmilk! Yes... breastmilk!

Never would I have thought that I would make so much milk. I've been charting how much milk I pump, and since January 13th I have pumped 1100 oz of milk. I did some math... and that's like 34L of breast milk. Imagine that...

Here, now you can. It`s about this much milk in bags. Crazy when you think about it, and that`s just in a month. I plan on pumping for a year or more. So much milk... puts breastfeeding into perspective. We are supplying this amazing food for our babies and yet we`re never sure how much they are getting.

We had to buy a freezer for all of my milk. Our freezer on top of our fridge was getting full of breastmilk so we went to Leons and picked up a fancy new freezer. An upright 12.5 cubic foot freezer. Considered a chest freezer but this way I can organize my milk better and make it easier to rotate bags of it. Can`t wait for delivery.

Yes it`s lame to be excited over a freezer but when your life becomes pumping all the time, the little things make you happy.

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